GIFtastic: What It Feels Like to Diet
All the food. In my mouth. On January 2, 2013 I woke up, looked in the mirror and realized: But I was too hungover to…
Posts by: Naomi Cannibal
BLOG: The Saddest Pets on Etsy
A year ago I found an abandoned, mangy, flea covered street rat/dog running down US1 during rush hour. I coaxed the mutt into my arms…
BLOG: Feminist Forays: That Time I Became a Stripper
Pictured: The opposite of me. I grew breasts in fourth grade. Overnight my puffy, pre-pubescent nipples with a light sheen turned into small mounds of…
BLOG: Asian Lesbians Fucking MILFs in Space: What Your Porn Category Says About You
Ok so, this is a thing people search for. Goodbye childhood, I will miss you. by
BLOG: How To Make Your Girlfriend Purr Like a Kitten Part 3
Disclaimer: This is an old piece of writing (originally intended for the BangBros.com blog so it’s geared towards a male demographic). It’s part of the…
BLOG: Gwyneth Paltrow is Trying to Kill Me
I will destroy you. A couple weeks ago, in an ongoing effort to avoid my natural instinct to gorge on raw meat and nachos, I…
BLOG: EDM: Excruciatingly Dumb Music
You’re not a music aficionado, you just really love ecstasy… I recently read an article on Forbes.com that claimed Calvin Harris made $46 million dollars…
BLOG: How to Make Your Girlfriend Purr Like a Kitten Part Two
In last week’s How-to “Make Your Girlfriend Purr Like a Kitten” Part 1 we learned that your girlfriend is almost always faking her orgasms. And…
BLOG: Clown Rapists, Serial Killers, and Ice Cream: The Story of My Childhood
When I was a little girl I had a strange habit of putting things that frightened me in the freezer. My mom would open the…
BLOG: How to Make Your Girlfriend Purr Like a Kitten Part One
Remember the last time you made a girl quiver and whimper with ecstatic delight while you lapped away at her pussy? Remember how she grabbed…
VIDEO: A Sweet Voicemail from a Real Swell Guy
I LOVE YOU YOU GODDAMN SACK OF HORSE SHIT. Please take me back? by
VIDEO: How To Explain the 90’s to Your Children in Four Minutes or Less
Everything about this is good. by
BLOG: What Your Porn Category Says About You
Your mother should be ashamed of you. by
BLOG: Liquid Lap Dance and Other Ways to Jizz in Public
The best invention since the pole. by
BLOG: People I Regret Letting Enter My Vagina
I’ve made a terrible mistake. by